Weariness (or can't be bothered to come up with a title)

This week I have been weary and tired. Partly I think this is due to migraines and headaches making me physically tired and nauseous.  But I am also mentally weary as well.  In these moments, Scripture speaks to the heart, doesn't it?

Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people,

 especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Galatians 6:9-10

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 

For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, 

and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, 

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

 I read these versus and ponder them.  I am in a race and working for the glory of Jesus.  In my weariness, I want to turn to Jesus and rest in Him.  March 1st is the beginning of Lent and I am going to do a Lenten Scripture reading plan.  During these next weeks, I hope to fall in love anew with Jesus and the wonder of who He is and His death for all of this.  In this meditation, I hope to be renewed to run the race with increased vigor.  

Fun filled weekend

This weekend, with their parents and their older sister away, I had Matthew and Juliet all weekend. We crammed alot into 3 days.   The best part is that we spent time with some of our favorite adults (Holly and Daric!) and favorite kids (Amelia, Susie, and Kayla!)

Saturday, we watched the Batman Lego movie with Amelia (Maggie was sick.) Amelia and I got some cuddling in during the movie too.

Then pizza while watching Phineas and Ferb.  

I am not a Papa John's fan but jalapenos make most pizza better

Sunday, we walked the dogs with Holly and got some games in - Mexican Train dominoes and Monopoly.  I am not a Monopoly fan and did not play.  But Mexican Train dominoes is one of my new favorite games. 

And of course just the three of us played games, mostly Timeline, dominoes, and Rummikub.  I am so happy Matt has learned Rummikub, and his strategy is growing.  (Dad would be happy if he had seen how Matt rearranged the board to play one or two tiles.)

Because who doesn't love some competition, especially Biers, we tracked the winners of all games played. Winner got to pick where we ate a treat Monday.

 

But first we picked up Kayla and Susie.  Kayla took charge and made pancakes for lunch and supervised her helpers (Juliet and Susie.) And Juliet made eggs.

Then we went to the park to burn off energy.

Some of us just read.....

And then Tutti Frutti (Juliet's winner's choice) and Starbucks for me.

Susie managed to sneak by my notice when getting her ice cream and got a "Susie" portion of ice cream.  Of course, she ate it all.

To finish off the weekend, puppy time with the Kestlers and then Mexican Train dominoes with Dad and Uncle Dwight.  How special is that- games with Dad and Uncle Dwight.

One day in the not distant future, Juliet will be in college and Matthew will no longer be a kid.   Today, I am thankful for being able to enjoy these days of games, pizza, friendships, and family.  And we are family, all of us- some by blood, some by friendship, all in Christ.  I think of mom and dad and their years of friendship with Aunt Betty and Uncle Dwight.   30 years from now, I hope that these kids still think of me as an aunt and my friendships with their parents are as solid as my parents with their friends.  

In the quiet

Psalm 4: 3-8

Know that the Lord has set apart 

his faithful servant for himself:

the Lord hears when I call to him.

Tremble and do not sin;

when you are on your beds,

search your hearts to be silent.

Offer the sacrifices of the righteous

and trust in the Lord.

Many, Lord, are asking, 

"Who will bring us prosperity?"

Let the light of your face shine on us.

Fill my heart with joy

when their grain and new wine abound.

In peace I will lie down and sleep,

for you alone, Lord,

make me dwell in safety.

We read this Psalm during our prayer time last week at ESL and it struck me as applicable to me. I was coming off a week of no or limited sleep.  And some of this lack of sleep is derived from my inability to sleep well on a given day.  But worry and anxiety is driving the rest.   Worry literally keeps me up at night.

This Psalm gives me reassurance that I can find sleep and rest when I am faithful to him and searching my heart to be silent.  A mind set on Jesus not thoughts upon thoughts.  Silence.  Quiet.  Peace. Jesus.

Not 13 anymore

Juliet is 14.  I don't even know where to start.  I blinked and not only is she a teenager but she is a sophomore.  Every year, I fall a little more in love with who this girl is.

If I am home alone and want to do something, I often text Juliet's parents to see if I can hang out with the family.  Juliet is part of the reason why.  I love being with her.

She is a great game player and I love playing Settlers or Ticket to Ride with her.  She is competitive but also okay with losing (most of the time) - sign of maturity.

Settlers

She is willing to do things for others.  We made her first quilt this winter for a friend of hers.

Quilting

She is funny- as in spit out your coffee laughing.

Winter 2016 fun night

She is smart, nerdy, and applied- always excelling to do her best.

Movie night

She tells you exactly what she thinks.  Good or bad.  

William and Juliet

She is good with kids and watching her teach preschool Sunday School is encouraging to me.

Happy Birthday, Juliet!

It's not about the nail

One of my favorite youtube videos is this one, It's not about the nail.   My friends say it is the perfect example of their daughter and it is.  It really is.  In the video, a woman is talking about this pain in her head and the man is trying to tell her it is a nail in her head.  The woman doesn't want to listen to the man and accusing him of not listening when in reality he has identified the problem.

But this week I was listening to a Matt Chandler sermon about fear and anxiety and it made me think about this video and how it may apply to me.  I am riddled with anxiety and fear and create it in my head to the point where I sometimes don't sleep and have stomach issues.  When I tell my sister some of the issues, she points out that I am a crazy person who is worrying about nothing.  She is right. Yet I still worry.

Matt Chandler in his message talks about how it is okay to have fear and anxiety but what matters is how respond to it.  And he also says that most of that anxiety and fear is rooted in thinking that God isn't good.  This is what I have been pondering.   Do I think God isn't good?  Why do I really have this anxiety?

In thinking about some of the examples, the anxiety is often due to thinking that I have to control situations and can't or that "things" will fall apart if "x" happens.   And that does mean I think God isn't good.  If I thought God was good, my anxiety should go away as I can know that if my fear is realized, God is good and will take care of me.  Maybe not in the way I hoped but in a way that I can grow closer to Him.

So going back to the video, next time I can't sleep because of anxiety and am complaining about it, I need to remember that maybe God is telling me the cause is that I don't believe He is good. And instead of ignoring this lesson, I should hear and respond to it.

A friend and her little ones

Today is my friend Emily's birthday which she is celebrating as a new mama to baby girl number two.   I haven't met Sadie yet, but that will change this weekend. 

I am thankful for Emily and her friendship over the years. 

• Loving mom of two
• Funny
• Thoughtful
• Willing listener to my thoughts and dreams
• Speaker of her mind 
• "In case he is a serial killer" friend - you know the friend who texts you on a date to check in and make sure you are safe and not kidnapped or murdered.  Everyone needs this friend.

Hannah with the baby quilt I made her

Over the past 2+ years, I have seen Emily become an amazing mom.  As a result, our time together has changed.  We don't drink coffee or walk like we used to.  There is a season to everything.  Her life is full of Hannah and Sadie and caring for them.  And this is good and right and makes me happy.  In another season, we can meet more often.

 

As for today, I am proud of the mom my friend is and the friend she is to me.

Happy birthday, Emily!