Contentment

Contentment is hard to grasp.  The longing for ..... is always there.  And contentment threatens to elude.


I long for a hundred thousand things that I will probably never attain.  Focusing on the things I long for brings discontentment and anxiety. And goodness knows, I already live in a state of anxiety.  I could write blog posts everyday for a year about anxiety and not cover all the anxiety issues I have.  I need to focus on maintaining contentment in my circumstances and not longing for the unobtainable.

You will keep those in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on You.  
Is 26:3.

This verse helps me as I look for contentment.  Releasing the longings (and anxiety) and fixing my mind on Jesus. In Him, there is perfect peace.  While easier said than done, I want the habit of fixing my mind to be second nature.

Sweet 16

My favorite picture of us of all time

Today, this girl turns 16.  I do love this girl. I have known her since she was 7 and watching her grow into a loving godly woman is a joy.   Plus there is lots of laughter in the journey too.

She is:

Sweet- She cares for others and it shows.  When I stayed with her this summer, she helped me in countless ways when I was sick.

Funny- She makes me laugh.

Sassy and Sarcastic- She knows how to give as good as she gets

Smart- Well that is a given.

Lover of kids- Kids love her and she loves them. She is one of my nieces' favorite people.  Just last Sunday, all my niece wanted to do was have R read and play with her.

New Challenges

10 years ago I was living in a foreign country.  I had to learn to pay bills, shop, navigate public transportation, and interact with others without being able to speak the main language.

I was not a good foreign language learner being the learner who was afraid to speak in case I said it wrong and being self conscious all the time.  Granted that was all my own doing and I should have and could have tried harder but I didn't.   And I understand immigrants in the States who struggle to speak and learn English.  I would be that person.  Actually, I was that person.  My desire has been to help these people for a while.

For the past 2 years, I have been looking for an English as a Second Language (ESL) ministry.   I had some leads.  But they weren't the right fit as I really wanted to do it in a Christian context where the gospel is also shared.  And then last Spring, someone posted about their church's ESL ministry.  I went to training this summer and my heart said "yes" this is the ministry for me- the desire for quality teaching, the desire to see immigrants speak English, and, foremost, the gospel to be heard.

We had our first official class last week. It was exciting and it was challenging. And it will continue to be challenging but rewarding.   I will be stretched as I have never taught ESL before - I have never lesson planned before.

So this year will be a year of challenges.  But I pray a year of growth, a year of reward in seeing people learn to speak English especially those like me who are self conscious of speaking a new language, a year of people learning of my God.

Sadie's quilt

Sadie N - Coming January 2017

This week, as I started Sadie's quilt, I had that nice feeling of starting a new project/quilt.  I have all the squares cut and just need to cut the batting for the inside. Then I am ready to sew.  I do love a rag quilt.

An unplanned swimming lesson

This fall, I signed up for swimming lessons.   I can't run distances anymore and hope that swimming will be a good way to get a quality workout.  Thus lessons to learn proper technique are necessary... However I may have gotten more than I bargained for.  

I am learning technique.   But I am also quickly learned I can't put my face in the water and exhale (or breathe as I say to the amusement of my friends.)  I just can't; I have a mental block and either hold my breath or begin inhaling.  Inhaling under water never goes well- trust me on this.  In the whole 4 or 5 times I have practiced with an instructor or alone, I just can't do it.  The good thing is that I am slowing beginning to exhale under water a little bit.   I think with practice, patience, and hard work, I will be able to breath properly. 

  

But this isn't what I signed up for.  I signed up for some quick technique lessons.  Then I was supposed to be able to swim for exercise with minimal work.  Instead, I will have to work hard at it. In short, build character.

But isn't that what we (I ) face all the time.  The expectation is that a new task, job, project, will be easily learned and enjoyed.  However, knowledge must gained and then painstakingly applied till it becomes second nature.  Muscles (physical and mental) must be developed.   

As hard as all this is, there is a pride and satisfaction in achieving a goal especially when the road was hard and the path harder than anticipated.  And it is picture of our spiritual journey.

We glory in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope.  Rom 5:3-4

A brother-in-law and a birthday

Picture by Gilded Isle

Almost 4 years ago, my sister got married.  If you are fortunate enough like me to have a sister you are close to, you can understand how important it is that she marry the right man.   After all, we are close.  I am a big part of her world, and she is a big part of mine.

My sister married the right man- not just for her but the family.   He is nicer than my sister, brother, and me- no, really, tons nicer.  He genuinely likes most people and accepts people for who and what they are.   My sister and I well.... Let's just say he balances us out.

Thank you for being the right person for our family.  Happy birthday!

Love and Mercy

At bible study, we are studying Hosea.   After slogging through some chapters with difficult imagery, we looked at chapter 11 this week.  Chapter 11 is all about the mercy of God.  Despite Israel's repeated rebellion, God still loved them and wanted to show mercy.  This led into a discussion of Micah 6:8.

I so needed this verse this week. I had to do justice in a difficult situation which resulted in frustration and anger by the person.  But I can't be vindictive even if I want to.  I have to show mercy and be loving to that person.  And above all, I need to keep my mind and heart fixed on God.  If God can repeatedly show me undeserved mercy, I can show others undeserved mercy.  

God knew I needed that bible study this week and a reminder of this verse.  Let this be how I live my life.

18 Years Old?

So I have a lot kids who are like family to me - a lot.

This one is the oldest of them all and, as such, has a special place in my heart.  I love this kid who isn't a kid anymore.

High School Graduation

I have been to countless soccer games of his over the years.  (I will admit that at many of them I may have been reading, but I was still his biggest fan!)  He has always been willing to help me with yard work without ever complaining.  I love watching sports with him.  I introduced him to Doctor Who- for which he should be forever grateful.  He makes sure I am invited to his birthday dinner, his adoption day celebration, and, this year, even his girlfriend's family dinner.

He is witty. He is fun.  He is kind.  He is considerate. He is someone you want in your life.

Happy 18th Birthday!!!!

All in a night's sleep

O LORD, I remember Your name in the night, And keep Your law. Ps 119:55

I have never been a good sleeper. But this last year has been exponentially worse.

For someone who needs 8-9 hours on a given night, 4 hours doesn't cut it.   I have tried it all, melatonin, herbal teas, essential oils, benydral, sleeping pills, so on so forth.  I have researched the habits- don't look at electronic devices, just get up and walk around for a while, read a boring book.  All of these things work in some degree but nothing works completely.

Everyone says Melatonin works- eh not so sure

Sleeplessness is horrid- I lack energy; exercise becomes hard; I get irritable (and I kind be irritable anyways ask my family).  But in all the bad, I have found some good.

I love essential oils and lavender is a nice stress releaser

I have a love of essential oils.
I have rediscovered my love for puzzles- sometimes at 2:00 in the morning.
I am working my way through all the LM Montgomery books- as off now I have done all the Anne of Green Gables books and am doing the short stories.
I have gotten good advice from a friend who has walked the same path recently and checks in to see how I am doing.
I have gotten in lots and lots and lots and lots of prayer time.   I pray especially through the kids in my life, a new ministry I am involved in, and for cousins serving in an unreached area.  Not that I always turn in prayer, but I am starting to do this more and more.

I want this time of sleepness to go away especially after a recent series of 8 nights with only 1 good night.  But during this time, I am thankful that God is creating the habit of me turning in prayer during the midnight hours.

At midnight I shall rise to give thanks to You Because of Your righteous ordinances. Ps 119:62

Unexpected Memories

Monday, I got to spend the day with my friends' two girls (8 and 10) who are like nieces to me.   I love these girls partly because they are always willing to do fun activities.

In six hours, we:

• made pancakes (okay M made them and S and I watched).
• made 8 dozen chocolate chip cookies and ate a fair amount of dough
• played countless games of Clue
• ate birthday cake with a friend's family
• delivered cookies to several families - the highlight being my sister's work which was a veterinarian office- you can't beat that with these girls
• went on a walk to the too busy City park and turned around and walked right back talking nonstop all the way
• played 6 games of UNO- S kept track because she was winning and wanted us to all know it.

Uno winner

They could have just watched tv all afternoon, and I would have gotten all of my painting done. Instead I was worn out, and I still had painting to do.  I was sooooooooooo tired when they left.  But the tiredness was worth it as this is how memories are made.   In the unexpected moments.  In unplanned activities.  In simply enjoying each other.

Fridge Art

How can you not love fridge art like this? I love these kids so much!

A Friend who is Family

Today is not only Labor Day; it is this woman's birthday.

Eight and a half years ago, I was recently home from abroad, my brother has just gotten married, my sister was in vet school, my closest friend had just moved to Oklahoma with her husband and infant. I needed friends and I needed children to invest in as even then I knew that was important.  That November, she was the first person at the church to invited me into her house.   God's hand was in that as he knew that we were meant to be family.  And eight and a half years later, we are truly family in every way but blood.  Her husband is like an older brother to me.  Her kids are like nieces and nephews to me.  And she is one of my dearest and closest friends and means the world to me.

She has intentionally made me family.  I have gone to countless kid's games; I have watched the kids, I have done birthday celebrations; I spend Thanksgiving with them.  She has counted every grammar and spelling error in this post.

Besides my brothers' family, there is no one I spend more time with than her family.  Some of my favorite things to do on a given weekend are:

• watch NFL games with E
• go out to eat and chat with R
• do bible study and watch or talking about Dr Who with J
• watch M play soccer games
• play games with the family 

Christmas bowling celebration  2011

Last winter, when I didn't want to be home, she and her husband made sure I could just go over to their house if need be.  She makes me laugh at myself like no one else can.  She is always willing to listen to all my joys, troubles, worries.   Besides my sister, she is the first person I go to tell about a date.  She is the first person I go to when I need advice and she always makes time for me (even if it is in the food court of Crown while M is playing soccer- true story.) She is a kindred spirit. She gets me and I get her.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Coffee + a friend

One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.  Proverbs 12:26

Relationships will be a theme here.   Relationships have formed the foundation of what is important to me in to many ways- where I spend my time, my money, my energy, my hobbies, my prayers....

25th anniversary celebration

This late summer/fall marks the anniversary of meeting with my friend and drinking coffee and praying and sharing life together.  She has in so many ways been an anchor to me.  I was struggling with something all those years ago and she knew it.  Instead of just praying (which don't get me wrong is very important), she took me aside and told me she wanted to meet with me weekly and talk and pray with me,  She may not remember this but, in those days, it was her praying and me struggling to pray. But with God's grace and her pray and encouragement, I worked through my issue.

5 years later, we have been through my dating "adventures", relationships, marriages, graduations, jobs, ups and downs in our walk, and other life events.  We have prayed over all these things and continue to meet and pray over what life has brought us.  Just yesterday, we met and prayed over the things that are important to us. And there was also a fair bit of laughter as usual.

A friend who has wisdom and a loving spirit and the ability to hold you accountable is to be treasured and not let go.  Hold on tight to her and appreciate how she helps you walk with God.  If she loves coffee, well, that is all the better!