My older brother

"I am proud to be your fake older brother." This approval meant and means everything to me not just because of the words but because of who said them.

10 years ago, my friend, Lori, welcomed me into her life. Slowly but surely her family has become part of my life in so many ways.  Her kids are like nieces and nephews; she is a confident and friend and willing to make time for me whenever I need.  While I may not have realized how deep these relationships would become, that they are like family is not a surprise.  What was unexpected was how I gained an older brother as well.

Jerry has seen me, good and bad, and cared for and encouraged me along the way.  When I couldn't sleep and was going crazy from insomnia, he was the one to give me advice and would let me just come over and hang out with them.   He purposely includes me in family events and day to day activities.   He mocks me, prays for me, laughs at me, and encourages me.  He isn't afraid to give me advice. And when he does, his advice is the counsel of a wise friend worth heeding (even if I don't always want to hear said counsel).

I may not have an older brother by blood, but I have an older brother in every way that truly counts.

Happy birthday, Jerry.

A family of friends

The past few weeks, in church, we have been talking about community, fellowship, people living together - make the terminology whatever you would.

This concept is at the heart of how I live my day to day life.  God brings people together to live among and serve together and worship with and pray with and encourage and just share life with. The past ten years, this is how I have lived my life intentionally being intimately involved with others' lives and they with mine.  Some people are constant and always there, some come and go.  But my life is the better and richer for these friendships.

Friendship isn't easy, and it takes time and energy to maintain relationships whether meeting weekly to pray, meeting weekly to drink coffee and share about our week and joys and frustrations, babysitting, messaging frustrations and joys with laughter and mocking thrown in, eating meals together, playing games, talking about books, doing bible study.  The more I spend time with my friends, the more our lives are intertwined and while we may cause offense or give offense especially if you are direct and blunt as I may have a slight tendency to be, we forgive and love.

Recently I have realized anew the importance of friendships.   Friendships are messy but also provide guidance, encouragement, and joy.  Here are some important "friendship" moments in the past 2 weeks alone.

• A friend messages asking me and says she is praying and gives encouragement.  
• Another rearranges her schedule to keep meeting me for coffee when my schedule has shifted.  
• A sister says drink coffee with us.  
• A friend sends me mail while away for the summer. 
• In a time of needing counsel and people who know me better than I know myself, my friends let me show up at their house and just talk to them.  

I could go on.  But what I have been struck with is that these incidents, these friendships, just didn't happen overnight.  They have been built up over time and effort and just being together. By intentionally choosing each other as friends and living life, I have a network of people to fall on when I need to and am more able to met the challenges and joys of life.

I can't imagine my life without a group of friends who are family living through all of the messiness and joys and frustrations and vibrancy of life.

My mother's child

Today is my mother's birthday.

I am my mother's child in so many ways.

• I look like her.
• I plan like her.
• I write letters like her.
• I am fast like her.
• I am organized like her.
• I read voraciously like her.

The list goes on.

My mother's example has profoundly affected the way I relate to people. For example, for years, I have loved sending notes and letters.  What better way to tell someone you care and express what someone means to you.  I learned this practice from watching my mother write notes to friends encouraging them, building them up, and letting them know she is praying for them.

And being like her is a good thing.   She loves Jesus. She loves others. She is the constant presence in my life whom I want to emulate and be like when I grow up.  I am so grateful to have a mother like this- full of integrity, kindness, and love.

When Friendship Hurts

I am so very grateful the community of friends I do life with.  Looking back over the last ten years of being back on the Shore, friendships have ebbed and flowed as is inevitable.  But there are friends that have stood the test of time, friends with deep relationships, friends whom I love and seek counsel from, friends I pray with and serve alongside.

But friendship can be ugly.  We hurt each other with words, behaviors, and actions. We misunderstand each other or cause offense intentionally or unintentionally.   It is these moments that strengthen or potentially destroy a friendship.  I have learned the hard way how true this is.  I find it so much easier to assume that I have no role in conflict or no need to restore a friendship when conflict is rife.  Not long ago, God shook me up and convicted me regarding this.  I was at fault in conflict and need to make restoration- me- no one else.  The thing is that it is hard to recognize that failure and sinfulness within.  And even harder to acknowledge it to the one you have wronged.

But God is good all the time.  All the time, God is good. In the humbling of myself and asking forgiveness and seeking full restoration, there is grace and love from the Lord and the other person and a picture of how the Church is to work - in humility and love for others and repentance striving for unity.    Philippians speaks to this - "Standing firm in ONE spirit, with ONE mind, striving SIDE BY SIDE for the faith of the gospel....  If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the SAME mind, having the SAME love, being in FULL accord and of ONE mind."

Friendships are messy.  But by working through conflict and recognizing the ugliness of ourselves, friendship can draw us closer to the Lord and holiness.   I am so thankful for my friends and the grace they bestow and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Anniversary Party - Picture Edition

Mom and Dad's 40th Anniversary party was two weeks ago.  Frances took pictures; I love them.  Plus I am just happy that we pulled off the surprise and want to share the moments with others.

Mom and Dad with Aunt Betty and Uncle Dwight - 

Mom and Dad met at their wedding

Mom and Dad arrived at Holly's thinking it was just dinner with Holly and Daric and her in-laws.

The best part was when they realized Aunt Betty and Uncle Dwight had come from North Carolina to surprise them.

We had Chipolte (Scott's idea and really the easiest way to do food) and Dairy Queen ice cream cake.

Aunt Betty still had her Maid of Honor dress from 40 years ago- super fun.

Family photos were taken.



Check out these cute kids.

I love Frances's collage of the girls and their aunts.

And finally, my favoritest sister ever and me! 

Thank you once again, Frances, for taking all the pictures!!!!!