When Friendship Hurts

I am so very grateful the community of friends I do life with.  Looking back over the last ten years of being back on the Shore, friendships have ebbed and flowed as is inevitable.  But there are friends that have stood the test of time, friends with deep relationships, friends whom I love and seek counsel from, friends I pray with and serve alongside.

But friendship can be ugly.  We hurt each other with words, behaviors, and actions. We misunderstand each other or cause offense intentionally or unintentionally.   It is these moments that strengthen or potentially destroy a friendship.  I have learned the hard way how true this is.  I find it so much easier to assume that I have no role in conflict or no need to restore a friendship when conflict is rife.  Not long ago, God shook me up and convicted me regarding this.  I was at fault in conflict and need to make restoration- me- no one else.  The thing is that it is hard to recognize that failure and sinfulness within.  And even harder to acknowledge it to the one you have wronged.

But God is good all the time.  All the time, God is good. In the humbling of myself and asking forgiveness and seeking full restoration, there is grace and love from the Lord and the other person and a picture of how the Church is to work - in humility and love for others and repentance striving for unity.    Philippians speaks to this - "Standing firm in ONE spirit, with ONE mind, striving SIDE BY SIDE for the faith of the gospel....  If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the SAME mind, having the SAME love, being in FULL accord and of ONE mind."

Friendships are messy.  But by working through conflict and recognizing the ugliness of ourselves, friendship can draw us closer to the Lord and holiness.   I am so thankful for my friends and the grace they bestow and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.