Reflections at 38

Amelia, Maggie

In someways, this year is a year to remember. Twenty years ago, I graduated from high school.  I have been home ten years from living overseas.

I never thought at 18 that 20 years later I would be single.  Like most conservative Christian girls (and really most girls), I dreamed I would be married and have children.  Instead, I am single career woman.  

William, Juliet

Evan, Emory

Of course, there is sadness in not having children and a husband.  But life is more than hopes and dreams. It is about living every moment in the hand of God and obedience to Him.  He died for me, and my life is His to do with as He will.

Paul

And yet He is merciful and has richly blessed me.  At last count, I have 14 children in my life who are, or are like, nieces and nephews.  And there are many others who I love to spend time with beyond these 14.  Since I am childless, I have the time and ability to invest in kids in a way that I wouldn't otherwise.  On a given weekend, I rarely do not spend time with these children in some way.  It could be a "letter" party; it could be dinner with a family; it could be a road trip to Ikea (Rachel should just thank Holly and me for that experience); it could be watching a movie at my house; it could be playing games; it could be a birthday dinner.  

Susie, Kayla

10 years ago, when I moved back home, I purposely decided to invest in the lives of my friends' kids (4 at the time).  Over the years, the number of families and kids have expanded as friendships grew, people moved back home, and babies were born.  While my time may be more limited due to the number of children, I have never regretted this commitment.

Rachel, Juliet, Matthew

I have been thinking about Evan who is the 18 years old that I was 20 years ago. I have watched Evan grow into a young man.  And while I miss the days of driving Evan to soccer games and listening to him talk the entire ride (yes the entire ride), I love to see how he is growing into himself and love to spend time with him as a young adult.  Little Paul, William, and Emory aren't even to soccer age. But one day, hopefully, they, like Evan, can say that I was a consistent godly presence in their life pointing them to Jesus.

Peter, Nora, Eve

So today as I turn 38, I am thankful for the families and children that fill my lives. Life may not be what I envisioned it.  But it is the life God has given me. And it is good.